


Someone Whom She Cares About

by bilgegungoren00



Series: A Boy from Daxam and a Girl from Krypton (KaraMel) [8]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, First Fight, Home, KaraMel, Tears, fight, kara x mon el, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8773720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: Kara and Mon-El are both miserable after they had their first fight as a couple.Requested by karamelforever on Tumblr.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Soooooo as you can guess, my KaraMel fairies didn't leave me alone yet another day, and since we had geography and counseling in school (two boring lessons I always write fanfictions in) I managed to finish this and post it! It's over 3400 words (oops) so I hope you bear with it and read it through! 
> 
> I want to thank karamelforever for requesting this on Tumblr, because it writing it was so fun and it made me smile at the end. Also, a special thanks go to navire on Tumblr (again), as her post inspired the hug. I'm so grateful she let me use it, and I hope I made it justice.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy it!

Kara wanted to cry as she wrapped the blanket around herself, staring blankly at the television across from her. Some reality show was on TV, yet if one asked her what was going on, or even what the name of the show was, she couldn’t say. Her vision was constantly blurry because of her continuous tears, and no matter how frequently she wiped them away, the new and more bitter ones replaced them easily. Sniffing into the napkin in her hand, she discarded it to her side, on top of the pile of other used napkins.

It hurt. It hurt more than she ever imagined it could. She never had a proper relationship on earth, nor she had anyone she truly cared about. Even with James, it was more of an affection rather than _love_. She didn’t know how much a fight, a _breakup_ could hurt someone.

Shutting her eyes, she curled up in a ball and stared at her trembling hands. How did she come here? How did _they_ come here? They were perfectly fine a week ago. And then the next day… The next day, everything was ruined.

Kara glanced back at the door one more time to see if someone was coming, but no matter how long or how frequently she stared there, she couldn’t hear anything. She just had to admit to herself. Mon-El wouldn’t come. He was too hurt for that.

It was her fault. There wasn’t even a question in that. And she wasn’t saying it just because she cared about Mon-El too much to blame him. She was saying it because it was really, truly, 100% her fault. She’d hurt Mon-El in such an unimaginable way that he didn’t want to see her right now.

How could she let him think that she didn’t trust him? How could she let that happen?

Gulping, she lifted her eyes, only to see the photo hanging on the wall next to the TV. Her gut twisted with pain. It was a photo of her and Mon-El from the first few weeks of their relationship. She could still remember him as he tried to ask her on a date. He spluttered more times than once, stumbled over his words, and babbled for at least three long minutes until Kara realized what he was trying to say. She’d accepted it, of course, and she told herself it was just because he’d been so cute trying to ask her out. And it wasn’t like Mon-El was that bad looking. It would just be a trial, though, and if she didn’t like it…

Yet that one date turned into two, and then it turned into four, and five, until Kara realized she’d maybe liked Mon-El more than she initially thought she did. She’d been afraid to put a name on the relationship they had at first, because putting a name on it was what ruined her relationship with James, yet when they made it “official” two months ago… Nothing had changed. She still enjoyed hanging out with Mon-El. She enjoyed training with him, going out with him, having meals with him, and generally just being around him. As silly as it sounded, she didn’t have to hold back when they were together. Her strength, her powers… It wouldn’t crush him, just as his strength wouldn’t hurt her. They could be themselves. She didn’t want to sound like she couldn’t date anyone other than an alien, but she had to admit, being with someone who understood her completely, and whom she could just be herself, it was a feeling she’d never experienced before.

However, that whole thing made it even harder for her when Mon-El was keeping his distance.

For the hundredth time that week probably, she relived their fight in her head, trying to decide where she’d gone wrong, and how she could ever hope to fix the damage she did.

* * *

Mon-El was standing in her apartment when Kara came back. It was close to midnight, and she was tired from trying to track down Cadmus the whole day. Alex had found a lead on Jeremiah in the morning, sending her, Kara, and Winn on a wild-goose chase. Normally, Kara would include Mon-El in her “superheroing,” but after what happened when Cadmus kidnapped them and she found out Mon-El had a lead allergy—which was probably in every single weapon she can think of right now—she just couldn’t risk him. So for the last few weeks, she’d been excluding him from Cadmus missions, and she hid it so that he wouldn’t feel hurt.

“Mon-El,” Kara said bewilderedly when she saw her, closing the door behind her. She’d told Mon-El she’d be late, and he should just go to sleep—they’d been living together for a week now—but he wasn’t. “I thought you’d be asleep.”

“I was about to,” Mon-El said, and Kara realized how cold his voice was. She suddenly stopped and took a mental step back. “But I haven’t heard from you since morning, so I called James, and guess what he told me?” Kara’s mouth dropped open as her heart skipped a beat. _No_ … No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to find out. Not yet. Not when Kara wasn’t ready.

“Mon-El,” she started, stepping forward, but Mon-El interrupted her.

“He told me you were out, chasing a lead on Cadmus, when I thought you were at CatCo, getting a head start on your article.” Kara shut her eyes, clenching her fist on her side. Of course. She’d told James what she was doing that day. Alex and Winn knew she didn’t want to involve Mon-El, but James didn’t. She’d forgotten to tell James about it.

Her stomach lurched as she pressed her lips together, taking another step forward. “It’s not what you think,” she tried to say, but Mon-El didn’t let her talk.

“It isn’t what I think? You _lied_ to me, Kara. You pretended you were at CatCo when really, you were out there, in danger, and I didn’t even know where you were.” Kara felt desperate as she looked at her boyfriend.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she tried to say. “I just didn’t want to—“

“Involve you?” Mon-El suggested with a hysterical laugh. Kara winced as a painful look twisted his featured. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were in this together.”

“We are.” Kara didn’t know what to say. “We’re in this together, Mon-El, but Cadmus is way over your head. You’re only just adjusting to earth.”

“ _Way over my head?_ That’s your excuse for not trusting me?” Kara’s eyes widened with shock.

“You think I don’t trust you? That’s what it was about?” she asked incredulously. Mon-El threw his hands up.

“What else could it be? Yes, you take me out when there’s just a robbery or an alien out there, but when it’s Cadmus, when it’s something big you don’t trust me with it.” He stopped for a second. “How many times have you lied about going out to track Cadmus?” Kara didn’t have an answer for that. But the truth was… That day wasn’t the first one.

Mon-El grimaced when Kara didn’t answer. He stepped back.

“Yeah, that was what I thought.” He turned back and grabbed his coat, as if he wanted to leave, when Kara snapped out of her stupor. She couldn’t control the words coming out of her mouth.

“Not everything I do has to involve you, you know?” she said. She didn’t even know why those were the words that she chose. She should’ve said something else. In fact, she should’ve told him that she was only afraid for his life. She should’ve told him she couldn’t just lose him, she couldn’t let him die because she wasn’t being careful. But her stupid, stupid heart was so afraid to admit it that instead, she snapped at Mon-El in anger in order to hide the truth. “We’re just dating, it’s not like we’re married or anything.” She immediately regretted her words, but it was too late. She knew it when she saw Mon-El’s completely shocked and broken expression.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he whispered, as if it physically hurt him to talk. “It’s not serious. Not for you, at least. It never was.” Regretting her words, Kara turned around to stop him as he attempted to leave and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait, you know that wasn’t what I meant.”

“Do I?” Mon-El asked, only glancing at her over his shoulder. He didn’t say anything for a moment before he faced her again. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a while.” Kara’s mouth dropped as her chest squeezed.

“What? Mon-El, no, please…” she begged, but he only freed his wrist and stepped back.

“There’s no point in wasting time in a relationship if it’s not serious.” Those were the last thing he said before he left, leaving Kara feeling utterly lonely. That was when she broke down, angry at herself for snapping at Mon-El. She was too afraid to lose him that she’d hurt him, and then she was too afraid to tell him how much she cared about him that she’d lost him. He thought she didn’t trust him, even though that wasn’t even close to truth.

She wanted to be with him, but more than anything she wanted him to be okay. Yet it seemed like she was the one hurting him more than ever.

* * *

She looked at her hands, wanting to punch something to the next world. Actually, she wanted to punch several things. She wanted to forget what had happened that night a week ago, or pretend that it never happened, because it hurt even after a week.

It hurt too much.

* * *

No amount of alcohol was enough on earth to make Mon-El forget the last week. Especially since he was too scared of going to the alien bar just in case Kara might be there. He wasn’t ready to see her. Not yet.

Sighing, he dropped another empty beer bottle on the table and called for the bartender. He’d been sitting in a human bar for an hour now, finishing four beers in the process. Yet he could still think clearly.

He didn’t want to remember what happened. He didn’t want to remember that Kara had lied to him to keep him out of her life. A _big part_ of her life. And it was also about something that concerned him as well. Cadmus had kidnapped him to get to her. It wasn’t like he was completely out of the narrative.

However, that wasn’t the part that hurt him the most. Even as he waited for Kara to come home last week, even as he was angry, he was telling himself that Kara must’ve had a damn good reason for keeping such a secret from him.

He just never expected the reason to be that she… She just didn’t see him worthy enough to tell him.

He couldn’t believe it. He trusted her, wholly, and he… He cared about her. He might’ve lied to her before they started dating, but after that he’d never lied. Especially not about a big thing. He didn’t think secrets were worth hurting Kara. But obviously she wasn’t feeling the same way.

Clenching his teeth, he tightened his grip on his empty beer bottle, so much so that he felt it cracking under his hand. He stopped, taking a deep breath to calm down. He couldn’t just go around, breaking stuff. He had to keep his alien identity a secret.

Not that it felt like it mattered anymore.

He was just about to get up and leave when his eyes turned to the door and he froze in his place. No, it was impossible. He must be hallucinating. She couldn’t be here, right? Mon-El hadn’t even come to this bar until that day, and he surely didn’t tell anyone. So how could she be here?

Kara’s eyes glanced around the room as she clutched her bag in front of her, biting her lip. Mon-El’s heart quickened its beat as he struggled to breathe. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know what to say. He was trying to get his thoughts together but it was hard—so damn hard—when Kara was standing by the door in her knee-length, black dress, sheer black tights and high-heeled shoes. Her hair was tied in a loose ponytail, falling down her shoulders in curls.

Was she looking at him, or she was here because of some incredible coincidence?

The question flew off his mind when Kara’s eyes found him. She didn’t look surprised, which meant that she… That she came for him. He swallowed hard to get rid of the knot in his throat.

Mon-El’s shoulders tightened as Kara walked up to him with a determined look on his face and clenched teeth. He stared in front of him, at his beer bottle, yet even his posture gave it away that he knew she was near.

A terrible feeling twisted his gut. Normally, just a week ago, he’d be delighted to see Kara after being apart for so long. But then, even though a part of him yearned to see her, to _touch_ her, there was also another part that wanted to get as far away from the bar as possible.

Kara sat right next to Mon-El, ordering a beer for herself. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to say. His heart was slamming against his ribs, his breaths coming out as short pants, and his gaze locked on the beer bottle since he was afraid all of his defenses would crumble down if he took one gaze into Kara’s deep blue eyes.

“Mon-El,” Kara whispered after a moment, just as silence was becoming unbearable. Mon-El still didn’t face her, fear gripping his heart. He couldn’t let his defenses down. Kara didn’t really think seriously about him. About them. It hurt too much, and no matter how much he wanted to be with Kara, he couldn’t just ignore that. “I asked Alex to track your phone. We… We need to talk,” she continued. Mon-El pursed his lips as he dropped his chin. Nothing ever good came after those words, on earth _or_ Daxam.

Kara didn’t say anything for another while as silence stretched again. Obviously she was waiting for him to speak, but his mouth was so dry, his tongue was tied, and he didn’t want Kara to see how hurt and vulnerable he felt. He couldn’t.

“Fine, you don’t have to say anything. You probably have that right.” Kara’s voice was understanding, even though it was broken and painful. Mon-El swallowed hard as he sat still as a stone. “But listen to me, please. I’ve… I’ve made a mistake, okay?” Mon-El shut his eyes. Of course. A _mistake_. That was probably what he was to Kara. She felt bad that she ever led him to believe she cared about him more than just friends, and she saw it as her mistake. But it was his mistake too. He should’ve seen it. He should’ve seen that someone as good as Kara could never truly love him. Not in the way he wanted her to.

“I should’ve never hidden Cadmus from you. You were right, you were involved from the beginning. I should’ve let you know, and it should be your choice to track them down or not, no matter how dangerous it was for you.” She took a deep breath as Mon-El bit his lip too hard that he almost tasted blood. “Not only that, I also apologize for making you believe I didn’t trust you, or I didn’t want to involve you in my life. The thing is, Mon-El, you are already a part of my life. You are already involved. I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I still can’t imagine my life without you. The last week… It was horrible. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life. That was because I’d lost the only person I could be myself with, the only person I ever saw a happy future with, the only person that I could let go and not hold back, and just ease off. I was just too afraid to admit that to myself, because if I did then it would be real. Well, more real than it already was.

“That was why I said those words to you last week. That was why I hid Cadmus from you. I was too afraid of losing you. Cadmus had already hurt you before, and I couldn’t just lose you because I brought you into danger. And I said those words because… Because I cared about you too much and it made me afraid. I’ve never felt anything like this. And I know I should’ve come and told you this before, but it took me some time to realize that I never wanted to live my life without you. No matter how scary it might be, it was better to confess my feelings and be rejected than hide them. I am miserable without you, so I… I’m asking for your forgiveness, even though I don’t deserve it. I like you, Mon-El, and I want to be with you, so if you forgive me…” Her voice trailed off as it began shaking too badly. Mon-El’s grip on the beer bottle had loosened as he found the courage to turn his eyes and look at Kara.

He didn’t expect that. Out of everything he expected Kara to say, it wasn’t one of them. He could see how honest her confession was. It came from the bottom of her heart. And he… He didn’t have any answer to it.

“You like me?” he managed to ask hoarsely after a couple of seconds. A small, tight smile appeared on Kara’s face as she nodded, as if she was afraid she’d cry if she opened her mouth. Mon-El’s heart stuttered as tears filled his eyes as well.

He’d gotten it all wrong. It wasn’t that Kara didn’t trust him. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about him enough to involve him. No, she cared about him too much to put him in danger, she cared about him too much that she was so afraid of losing him. She liked him, liked him like he liked her, like he cared about her, and she’d only lied to keep him safe. As he would’ve done if he was in her position.

“Kara…” he whispered as he couldn’t help himself and hauled her up to his chest. His arms circled his face, pulling her close, so close so tightly that it would’ve killed a normal human. But Kara only gasped as her arms wrapped around Mon-El’s, her nails digging into his skin just as fiercely as he was hugging her, her chin perched up in his shoulder. “I forgive you. Of course I forgive you.” That made Kara laugh tearfully as she pressed her cheek on his shoulder.

They fit so good together, so beautifully, in a way Mon-El didn’t think he could with anyone. He buried his face to her shoulder, crying softly and quietly, and thanking whoever was up there for giving him Kara, because he’d never felt more content with anyone else before. If he was happy, even more than that, it was all thanks to her.

With her, he felt more at home than anywhere else he’d been, even Daxam.

* * *

Kara’s heart pounded with relief as Mon-El hugged him, holding him tightly to his chest. By that time, tears were already streaming down her face. Wrapping her arms around Mon-El’s shoulders, she dug her tears and grabbed his shirt tightly in her hands, as if he’d slip away from her fingers if she didn’t. She found herself smiling despite the tears as she buried her nose to Mon-El’s neck and inhaled his deep, musky smell she’d gotten so used to in the last few weeks. She had never hugged anyone like that ever since she came to earth, not so honestly and truly as she was afraid to hurt them. But with Mon-El, she didn’t need to worry, she didn’t need to hold back, she could just be herself. It was a feeling she missed deeply during her time on earth, and she’d finally found it again, with him.

She felt like she was finally home after all those years in there, in the arms of the man she loved, though she was afraid to admit it. She was home in Mon-El’s arms.

* * *

 _When I look at you,_  
_I’m not going to lie,_  
_sometimes I get_  
_kind of scared._

 _I tend to think about_  
_how whenever I get attached,_  
_the promises of forever_  
_are broken and I am_  
_abandoned._

 _I can’t handle losing you,_  
_because I will lose_  
_a part of me too._


End file.
